She will be taking Cyclophosphamide on alternating days with Piroxicam.  Once every three weeks, she will go in for an IV of some chemo agent.   I hope she doesn’t get too sick.

Isn’t it weird how sometimes you don’t notice things until you have a reason to do so.  I’ve gotten my haircut at the same place for the past fifteen years.  Next to the salon is a business called the Wellness Pharmacy.  That’s where I picked up Izzy’s meds.

It is a pharmacy that specializes in making drugs that are not readily available at a commercial pharmacy.  I never knew such a place existed.  For instance, where else can you get beef-flavored cancer drugs for dogs?  They also do things like make capsule medicine into liquid for children or those who have difficulty swallowing or make drugs without common allergen components, such as gluten.

What an amazing way to really make a difference in someone’s life!

She will get two different oral medicines on alternating days and then a round of chemo via IV every three weeks.  Hard to know if this is the right thing to do.

Heartbroken.

With the sleep deprivation and poor health, I’ve lost focus lately.  I’ve tuned out somewhat from being present with my children.  I’ve been going through the motions but have lost some of the joy in parenting.

I intend on changing that.

1) Change the time of day that I am on the computer. Usually, one of the first things I do is turn on the computer when I walk in the door–that and start dinner.  For a week, I am not going to get on the computer until after the kids go to bed. We have been pushing up the boys’ bedtime because they are just worn out by the end of the day, which means I have less time with them in the evening.  I’d rather have two good hours though than two good ones and one horrendous last hour.

FH is a “short sleeper,” sleeping about 4-5 hours at a time.  He goes to bed around 7:30, and then I can have some really good quality time focusing on LM for 30-60 minutes.  This arrangement has worked out the best of anything else we have tried so far.  It’s been kinda interesting since the boys share a room, but the logistics of that are for another post.

2) Read more to FH.  We read all the time to LM and somehow have not done as much of this with FH as I would like.

That’s it.  I make too many lists in general, so I am keeping this one short and sweet.

Since LM doesn’t read yet, I added the pictures. I just took photographs of the items, printed them out as a contact sheet, cut them out, and used double-sided tape to adhere them to the printout.  I was pretty pleased with the results.  I then put the whole thing in a plastic sleeve, so we can use a dry erase pen with it.

There are only three items on the list right now; there are a few other things like picking up toys and taking his plate to the sink that we expect him to do just as part of being part of the family.

For each “extra” task, he gets $0.25. I know there is a lot of discussion about whether to pay your kids or not, how much to pay them, when to pay them, etc.  Some people don’t think you should pay children; some people think the payment should just be automatic and not tied to specific tasks.

Right now, we are going to try this approach and see how it goes.  Immediately after completing the task, he colored in the circle and got a quarter.  He put the quarter in a jar that he has in his room.  The jar is for spending, and he has a piggy bank for saving.  Eventually, I would like to add a third container for giving, but I just want to take one thing at a time with this.

Tonight was the first night we used the chart, and he was super excited to color in the circles next to the tasks.  He was so disappointed that the silverware in the dishwasher was dirty, so it couldn’t be put away.

You wouldn’t think that a four-year-old could run a vacuum, but he wrestles that thing all around his room and actually does quite a good job.  A reminder to me not to underestimate him!

Touch is one of those things that you don’t really pay much attention to until it is gone.  We give lots of hugs and kisses to the boys.  Not being able to nurse is also really weird.

The photo below is one of my favorite; I took it when LM was just starting to walk.  I got it framed for W’s first father’s day.

We moved FH from the bassinet; he was getting too big for it anyway, and the hope was that he would sleep better in the crib.  Seems to be working.  Tonight I put him in it, and he went straight to sleep.  Not one peep.  Last night he slept from 8 p.m. to midnight, ate, and then went back to sleep for four more hours.  Definitely a move in the right direction.

Photo Credit: The Commons, Flickr, Photographic Advertising Limited, Collection of National Media Museum

In fact, he hasn’t even come close–four hours at one time is about the longest he has ever gone.

We’ve tried just about everything–feed him more, feed him less, go to bed earlier/later, change his sleeping environment, nap more/less, let him cry, have him sleep with us…..

Pediatrician did not find anything physically wrong with him.

Parenting is not for the weak.

Went to Kohls and got a few things–extra 20% off.  Had lunch with the sisters and mom.  Went to Borders and had ample time just to browse.  There are so many books that I could have gotten!  Used a gift card to get The Gluten-Free Almond Flour Cookbook.  The recipes look fabulous; I can’t wait to try them.  Then I went to Toys R Us and used another gift card to get baby food (that was also on sale) and birthday presents for the twins.

I love coming home from shopping with items that are exactly what you want and without spending hardly any cash at all.  FH was on his absolute best behavior today.  No screaming or crying in the stores–for the most part he just slept. Bedtime went well with LM, and we had a good time earlier reading the new animal book that I got on mega sale at Borders.

Isn’t the photo above lovely?  It is:  Henry Essenhigh Corke (1883-1919); Autochrome Collection of National Media Museum courtesy of Flickr.  It reminds me of the countless times I have peered over the edge of the basinet much in the same way–love, concern, pride.

a) a mess that would drive any self-respecting mother nuts

b) styrofoam scattered on the floor

c) corn for the deer to eat tonight

Answer: C, of course.  Isn’t it obvious?

(If you look closely, you can see a large Porter Cable box in the room as well, which is currently housing the 50+ stuffed animals that MUST be kept.)

With LM, I tried numerous times to carry him in a sling and in the baby carrier.  Try as I might, I just never quite got the hang of it.  I was not comfortable, nor was he.

When FH came, I decided to give the carriers another try.  He, much more than LM, demands to be held, so it was in my best interest to make it work.  Thankfully, I did.  Anytime we go anywhere (library, grocery store, shopping), LM is in the Snugli.  He’s cozy and usually falls asleep; I have two hands free to get done what needs to be done.  Around the house, I wear him in the sling.

Every day is so precious.