I was folding the boys’ laundry this morning and was struck with how much they have changed and how those changes are reflected in their clothes.  No more blurp cloths or drooled-encrusted onesies fill the laundry.  Nor are there any more bibs or teeny, tiny outfits to spray with Shout and rub clean.

Miniature jeans and t-shirts for L now, and even those have given way to larger jeans and shirts for E.  Ankle socks for him now, and soon the footed pajamas for L will be a thing of the past.  Little men with their miniature Hanes underwear and holey jeans will give way to sports uniforms, dress shirts, and name brands.

There are days I think we must have been out of our minds to have children, but then there are moments like these where I feel incredibly blessed and just crazy lucky.

I have so much to be thankful for it’s hard to know even where to start.

• two incredibly beautiful and healthy boys
• a husband who is loyal, hard-working, patient, and an incredible father
• a well-built house with running water and electricity
• a steady job
• wireless Internet connection!
• Wendy’s chocolate frosty
• sushi
• amazing network of family and friends
• a wonderful church
• digital cameras and photography (I think in another life I will become a photographer)
• the sound of a toddler fresh out of the bathtub shuffling around the house in footed pajamas
• the unfettered joy of a child
• belly laughs and giggles
• naturally wavy hair
• front-loading, energy efficient washing machine
• gluten free food
• wooden toys and Match box cars

I was going through a box of old cards and letters last night (more on that project later) and came across a card from Granny.  In it she writes about going to Bridge club and mentioning that when she gets back from visiting us that it will be her turn to host.

The sad thing is this: she never made it back.  She came out from Kansas in 2005 to visit E after he was born and never made it back.  She got very ill shortly after she arrived in Virginia and never got strong enough to make the trip.  She died here in March 2009.

It’s strange reading something like that with hindsight.  She even mentions in the letter that she had just had her checkup and nothing was wrong except her arthritis.

She was such a special, special woman.  I miss her tremendously, and I am so glad that I just didn’t pitch the whole box of papers before going through it!

Sad thing is the party really isn’t that big of a deal–just family coming over for chili.

I know though that my mother-in-law will notice the fingerprints on the French doors.  She won’t say anything, but she will notice and that drives me CRAZY.

In preschool, they are teaching STAR–Stop, Take a Breath, and Relax.  Maybe I should go back to school.

One of our favorite things to do is to watch home movies together, so I think he will get a kick out of it.

I may have missed my calling has a movie editor.  I love the technical part of it, and I also find the more creative aspects very satisfying.

She will be taking Cyclophosphamide on alternating days with Piroxicam.  Once every three weeks, she will go in for an IV of some chemo agent.   I hope she doesn’t get too sick.

Isn’t it weird how sometimes you don’t notice things until you have a reason to do so.  I’ve gotten my haircut at the same place for the past fifteen years.  Next to the salon is a business called the Wellness Pharmacy.  That’s where I picked up Izzy’s meds.

It is a pharmacy that specializes in making drugs that are not readily available at a commercial pharmacy.  I never knew such a place existed.  For instance, where else can you get beef-flavored cancer drugs for dogs?  They also do things like make capsule medicine into liquid for children or those who have difficulty swallowing or make drugs without common allergen components, such as gluten.

What an amazing way to really make a difference in someone’s life!

She will get two different oral medicines on alternating days and then a round of chemo via IV every three weeks.  Hard to know if this is the right thing to do.

Heartbroken.

With the sleep deprivation and poor health, I’ve lost focus lately.  I’ve tuned out somewhat from being present with my children.  I’ve been going through the motions but have lost some of the joy in parenting.

I intend on changing that.

1) Change the time of day that I am on the computer. Usually, one of the first things I do is turn on the computer when I walk in the door–that and start dinner.  For a week, I am not going to get on the computer until after the kids go to bed. We have been pushing up the boys’ bedtime because they are just worn out by the end of the day, which means I have less time with them in the evening.  I’d rather have two good hours though than two good ones and one horrendous last hour.

FH is a “short sleeper,” sleeping about 4-5 hours at a time.  He goes to bed around 7:30, and then I can have some really good quality time focusing on LM for 30-60 minutes.  This arrangement has worked out the best of anything else we have tried so far.  It’s been kinda interesting since the boys share a room, but the logistics of that are for another post.

2) Read more to FH.  We read all the time to LM and somehow have not done as much of this with FH as I would like.

That’s it.  I make too many lists in general, so I am keeping this one short and sweet.

Since LM doesn’t read yet, I added the pictures. I just took photographs of the items, printed them out as a contact sheet, cut them out, and used double-sided tape to adhere them to the printout.  I was pretty pleased with the results.  I then put the whole thing in a plastic sleeve, so we can use a dry erase pen with it.

There are only three items on the list right now; there are a few other things like picking up toys and taking his plate to the sink that we expect him to do just as part of being part of the family.

For each “extra” task, he gets $0.25. I know there is a lot of discussion about whether to pay your kids or not, how much to pay them, when to pay them, etc.  Some people don’t think you should pay children; some people think the payment should just be automatic and not tied to specific tasks.

Right now, we are going to try this approach and see how it goes.  Immediately after completing the task, he colored in the circle and got a quarter.  He put the quarter in a jar that he has in his room.  The jar is for spending, and he has a piggy bank for saving.  Eventually, I would like to add a third container for giving, but I just want to take one thing at a time with this.

Tonight was the first night we used the chart, and he was super excited to color in the circles next to the tasks.  He was so disappointed that the silverware in the dishwasher was dirty, so it couldn’t be put away.

You wouldn’t think that a four-year-old could run a vacuum, but he wrestles that thing all around his room and actually does quite a good job.  A reminder to me not to underestimate him!

Touch is one of those things that you don’t really pay much attention to until it is gone.  We give lots of hugs and kisses to the boys.  Not being able to nurse is also really weird.

The photo below is one of my favorite; I took it when LM was just starting to walk.  I got it framed for W’s first father’s day.